


I know it seems like forever, I know it seems like an age (But one day this will be over, I swear it’s not so far away)

by Veriatas



Series: What the Water Gave Me (Selkie'verse) [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Gen, Selkie!Bruce Wayne, Selkies, Tim Drake Gets a Hug, Tim Drake Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27134074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veriatas/pseuds/Veriatas
Summary: Tim stared at the horizon and listened to the waves. If he ignored everything else, he could pretend nothing had changed.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: What the Water Gave Me (Selkie'verse) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781317
Comments: 30
Kudos: 322





	I know it seems like forever, I know it seems like an age (But one day this will be over, I swear it’s not so far away)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the lovely [Bumpkin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bumpkin) for being my beta!
> 
> Title from Florence and the Machine.

It’s been three days since the funeral. Tim has barely said a word.

He was sitting on the beach, watching cold swells crash over the rocky shoreline. The endless, rhythmic noise of breaking waves was oddly soothing. If Tim just focused on that, he didn’t have to think of anything else. He could pretend that nothing had changed.

The beach was empty. His parents still weren’t here, but that was okay, that didn’t change the pretense. They were never home anyway. So they could be alive, and just overseas like usual. That was fine. Tim could live with that. There wouldn’t be anything to break the illusion, that way.

What would break the illusion would be to see any of the Waynes. They didn’t look at him with pity, but there was sympathy and understanding in their eyes, and those looks would shatter the pretense. If his parents were alive, there would be no need for sympathy. No need for understanding.

As if in direct contradiction to his wishes, Tim heard footsteps crunching down the sand behind him. A few seconds later, Tim could see Bruce’s shadow looming over him. He ignored it.

He heard Bruce sigh, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Bruce sit down next to him. Bruce was looking at him. Tim knew that if he turned his head, he’d be able to look into Bruce’s eyes, and see understanding in them. _Sympathy_.

Tim kept his eyes fixed on the horizon. He didn’t want to talk to Bruce.

* * *

Bruce wandered down to the beach. He’d been keeping a careful eye on Tim all morning, but the boy hadn’t moved. He’d just sat on the shoreline, his eyes fixed to the horizon, the barely noticeable rise and fall of his chest the only movement he had made. It worried Bruce a little bit, but he knew that after Martha and Thomas’s deaths, he had barely spoken or done anything else for weeks, moving only when Alfred had made him. So he was worried about Tim, a bit, but he also understood.

He made his way to Tim’s side, and stood there for a moment. Tim didn’t look at him, or acknowledge him in any way. He sighed lightly to himself and sat down beside the boy.  
“Hey, Tim. You’ve been sitting out here for a few hours. Are you ready to come inside? Maybe eat some lunch with Jason, Dick and I? Or I can bring you a tray out here, if you prefer.” Tim still didn’t look at him, or even speak to him. Bruce could see the way Tim’s eyes stared relentlessly at the horizon, barely blinking. Even the breaths Tim was taking were small, shallow things, like he was trying his damnedest not to really be there. Like he wanted to be somewhere else. 

“Tim?” Bruce said again, more concerned now. If Tim remained nonverbal like this… but no. Watching the pup’s face as closely as he was, Bruce saw when Tim’s lip wobbled, when his eyes welled up with tears. But not a single tear fell.

“I know this sucks, Tim. It’s awful. And if you don’t want to say anything, you don’t have to, but I’m here if there’s anything you want to talk about. Anything at all.” In response, he heard a mumble. “What was that, kiddo?”

“I miss them,” Tim whispered again, and then he gained volume with his next words. "I miss them, and I feel so stupid because they were never here anyway so why do I miss them?"

"You aren't stupid, Tim, you--"

"Yes I am! I'm stupid, and I'm a horrible person. I was wishing that you and Jason and Dick were my real family and that they would leave again quickly so I could come home, but now they're dead and they're never coming back again and that stupid mansion will stay empty forever--" Tim gasped for breath, tears streaming down his cheeks. Bruce hauled him into his arms, felt the small face press into his neck. Heard Tim's muffled words, "I don't want it to be empty. I just want them to come back. But I don't wanna go back there. I wanna stay at home, with you. Am I a bad son? Wouldn't it be worth it to go back there if it meant they were alive?" And Bruce's heart _broke_.

"Oh, baby, no," Bruce soothed. “You’re not a horrible person, sweetheart, no. You’re just a pup. Pups shouldn’t be left alone, shouldn’t have to fend for themselves. You should have supervision and an adult you can rely on.” Bruce sighed. “And as for feeling dumb for missing your parents, well, then I’m dumb too. It’s been decades since my parents died, and there’s still moments when I think of them and it hurts all over again.”

“So it’s always going to hurt?” Tim whispered, his face a picture of quiet anguish.

Bruce opened his mouth to reply, then paused. His instinctive answer was to say that no, but that wasn’t strictly true. Instead, Bruce replied, “I want to tell you that one day it won’t hurt at all, but that would be a lie, I think. For me, it doesn’t hurt most of the time. It only hurts when I want to say something to them, or I wish they could see something one of the kids has done, and then I remember they’re gone. But even then, it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did when it first happened. It’s a faded ache now, and it flares up rarely. I wish I had a better answer for you, Tim, but give it time. Time might not heal all your wounds, but it will dull them eventually.”

Tim sniffled a little bit, his hands going up to wipe away the tears beneath his eyes. He didn’t look so pained anymore. There was still sorrow lingering on his face, but his eyes were thoughtful, and he took a deep breath. “Okay,” he murmured. “Okay, I believe you. I just wish it would stop hurting now.”

Bruce pulled Tim back into his embrace. He closed his eyes and leant his head on top of Tim’s soft hair, breathing deeply and holding back tears of his own. He wished he could take Tim’s pain away. If he could, he’d shoulder that burden, let the pup grow up free and unfettered by grief. But that was impossible. 

Bruce took a few more deep breaths to steady himself, then leaned Tim back so that he could look into the pup’s eyes. “I have a gift for you,” he said cautiously.

“A gift?” Tim’s eyes went wide and curious, before shuttering. “You didn’t need to get me anything to make me feel better, Bruce, it’s fine. I don’t… I don’t need anything.”

Bruce’s heart ached for this boy, so hurt, so young. “It isn’t because of this. I had this made before… well. Before.” He took another deep breath, and pulled the bracelet from his pocket. “This was made in Atlantis--

“Atlantis is real?” Tim blurted out, before blushing. “Sorry.”

Bruce chuckled. “Yes, Atlantis is real. I can tell you more about it later. Anyway, this bracelet was made in Atlantis, by my request. It’s for you.”

Tim took the bracelet, examined it. It was made of thin, gleaming silver chain, with a single charm attached. The charm was a simple circle, outlined in silver. But the center of it was deepest blue, then lighter, then turquoise, then the sunlit blue of a breaking wave. It shifted from colour to colour, never still for more than a second. It was like the ocean, in that way. The oceans never stood still either, always changeable.

“It’s beautiful,” Tim said quietly, eyes fixed on the ever changing colour of the charm. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Tim, but it’s more than just beautiful.” Tim looked up at him, eyes questioning. Bruce smiled. “I had it enchanted for you. It will let you breathe underwater, so that we can take you swimming with us.” Tim’s eyes went huge, shock and a childish type of awe written all over his face. It made Bruce’s heart ache a little bit, but gave him hope as well. Tim still had his sense of wonder, despite what had happened in his life. Bruce hoped that he would keep it forever.

“Really?” Tim asked, voice breathless and happy.

“Really,” Bruce confirmed. “It will also keep you warm in the water, no matter how cold it really is, and you’ll be able to talk, too. We won’t be able to reply to you though. It will even protect you from water pressure. Well, mostly. Don’t try to go in the Mariana Trench, or anything.”

Tim laughed, and the sound was light and joyous. He looked down at his charm again, watching it change, colours cycling from midnight blue to turquoise to ocean green to the colour of sunlit waves, and then cycling back again. “I love it, Bruce. This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Bruce replied softly, before brightening his tone. “Now, do you want to come inside and eat some lunch? After that, we’ll take you swimming properly.” 

Tim’s grin appeared immediately, lighting up his face. “Okay!” Then he stood up and bolted for the house. “Bet I can beat you there!” He called back to Bruce.

Bruce grinned and hauled himself to his feet, chasing after the small figure ahead of him. It was good to see the boy smiling again.

* * *

No amount of ocean documentaries could have prepared Tim for this feeling.

Being underwater like this… it was indescribable. Tim had never seen this many kinds of fish before. He didn’t have names for most of them as they swam past, keeping a careful distance from the seals. Jason would occasionally dart towards them, hoping to snag a quick meal, but his reluctance to stray too far from Tim left him unable to catch anything.

This afternoon had been the most fun Tim could ever remember having. Bruce had let him hold onto his flipper as he swam out into the ocean. Not too far though, and not too deep. Bruce didn’t like to take the pups too far from the shore. Dick and Jason had darted around them, quickly enough that Tim had problems tracking them with his eyes. Once Bruce had reached a spot he’d deemed satisfactory, Tim had let go of his flipper and treaded water, content to watch his friends (brothers) swirl around him. Occasionally, they’d drift closer and wait for Tim to grab on before swimming in dizzying circles until Tim lost his grip and slid off, his laughter ringing into the water around him.

So perhaps things had changed. Perhaps Tim couldn’t go back in time, couldn’t wish his parents would finally come back for him, couldn’t wish for a dream that never really would have happened even if nothing had changed. But here, deep in the water, Tim thought that it could be okay. Dick and Jason were swirling around him, and he was holding onto Bruce, and his charm had left him warm down to the bones despite the ocean around him. Here, impossibly warm despite being surrounded by cold water, with a new family despite being left alone one final time, Tim thought that he would be alright.


End file.
